Wanted: Large, Bobble-Head Cat
Seeking large bobble-head cat, tired of the back seat of that sedan. Must be aggressive in bobbles towards sparrows and grackles, enjoy lots of sun and the occasional mud bath/gully rain. Must be good with children. Must hate the taste of garden fresh veggies, and especially seeds and sprouts.
Also accepting Bobble-Head Chihuahuas
Wanted: New, Perky Water Heater
Must be a hard worker, eager to start a job, but highly efficient and capable of self instillation.
Wanted: New Job
Must allow for excessive amounts of time off for doctor's appointments, sick kid days, lazy mommy days, trips to the zoo and daddy to-do days. Must be close to home. Company car not necessary, in the first year. Compensation must be capable of doubling our quality of life, or equal to Mike Modano's (which ever comes first). Must include perks such as trips to the Bahamas & Disney Land and Spa days for the wife.
Currently accepting all applications.