A month ago...

A month ago we delivered our baby boy. The piano is still covered in cards, but all the flowers have wilted and been thrown out by now. I find I don't know what to do with the cards. They have begun to gather dust under them, and behind them, because they don't really belong there, not forever. If only they would droop, and discolor; it is much easier to know what to do when that happens.

I met a woman in the store the other day. She was very nice, and asked me about my children. As I stood there, with a basket full of groceries in a checkout line walled by Tabloids, a song my parents listened to in high school playing in the background, I wanted to tell this stranger that I had another baby. That I had carried him four and half months. That I had held him. That his name was William. But like the cards, that don't belong there forever, I didn't know what to do with these emotions. So I simply said, "Yes, these are my children... Yes, we are extremely blessed."

Perhaps that is why I don't know what to do with these emotions. We are extremely blessed, with four beautiful children, and with family and friends who understand that life begins not when we acknowledge it, but when God gives it. And because of this understanding, we were blessed by so many prayers and so much support in our loss, that we could not be unaware of your love for us. Thank you. Thank you for your prayers, for the meals, for the cards, for the flowers, and especially for helping us acknowledge William's life.

William Robert Ellis

Delivered July 6th, 2010 9:50 pm

2 1/2 ounces 4 1/2 inches




A testimony to the genuine gift each life is, to the miracle of a soul around which a body had begun to perfect itself. His ears no bigger than an eye lash and his feet as big as my finger nail, were no less perfect in their detail than my own. The weight of his soul immeasurable, the indelible mark of identity eternally upon creation, his existence is a witness to life lived entirely in love and devotion to our Creator.



For those who have not heard, our child, William Robert, was found to be without a heart beat last week. Although we were almost half way through the pregnancy, he had stop growing around 16 weeks. We were blessed to deliver him yesterday and bury him this Friday.

We, as parents have suffered greatly in our loss, but we rejoice every moment in the children we have been given to love every day on earth. We look forward to the day we will meet our children in Heaven and until then we know we are blessed by their love and prayers.


Our children meeting their brother.

Well it happened.

As Jeremiah wrote,

this little guy is one year less little.

Somehow, this year the transition seems more fluid than others, the change in the current almost imperceptible. He still buries himself in a world of imaginative pillow case caves and aquatic themed top bunk landscapes. His best friend is still his little sister, who knew exactly what gift would make him bolt around the table with a giant thank you hug. His favorite part of the day is still making his littlest sister laugh. And as the current is seemingly unchanged, his favorite person to pester is still his over-reacting little brother.

He still takes thirty minutes to tell what could be said in five, because he has not lost his understanding that every detail is important. And all this, he still needs to relive with you while cuddled on the sofa.

I hope that the flow of this growing river will remain unaffected by the years of changing currents.

Is there a 7 year old in our family?

Tonight we celebrated our oldest turning 7. It is hard to believe that Jen and I have a 7 year old boy. We had an abbreviated birthday celebration, as just before we were to head to 5:30 Mass, our youngest decided she needed a brand new jar of apple sauce off the pantry shelf. A trip to the ER and 5 stitches in the palm of her hand later we were able to celebrate Peter's 7th birthday.

Opening cards and a few gifts with the help of some siblings and cousins.

Posing in front of one of the two soccer goals that will now ruin my beautiful grass with backyard matches!