A month ago...

A month ago we delivered our baby boy. The piano is still covered in cards, but all the flowers have wilted and been thrown out by now. I find I don't know what to do with the cards. They have begun to gather dust under them, and behind them, because they don't really belong there, not forever. If only they would droop, and discolor; it is much easier to know what to do when that happens.

I met a woman in the store the other day. She was very nice, and asked me about my children. As I stood there, with a basket full of groceries in a checkout line walled by Tabloids, a song my parents listened to in high school playing in the background, I wanted to tell this stranger that I had another baby. That I had carried him four and half months. That I had held him. That his name was William. But like the cards, that don't belong there forever, I didn't know what to do with these emotions. So I simply said, "Yes, these are my children... Yes, we are extremely blessed."

Perhaps that is why I don't know what to do with these emotions. We are extremely blessed, with four beautiful children, and with family and friends who understand that life begins not when we acknowledge it, but when God gives it. And because of this understanding, we were blessed by so many prayers and so much support in our loss, that we could not be unaware of your love for us. Thank you. Thank you for your prayers, for the meals, for the cards, for the flowers, and especially for helping us acknowledge William's life.